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The ultimate collider gift list

| 10 December 2015

...for "bity and snarly vintage and compressed tones"... Image: resonant electronic design

…for “bity and snarly vintage and compressed tones”… Image: resonant electronic design

Niobium nose rings – set a new trend. Image: msyticmoonshop.com

Niobium nose rings – set a new trend. Image: mysticmoonshop.com

A large push-pull solenoid. A bargain at only $14,95! Image: adafruit.com

A large push-pull solenoid. A bargain at only $14,95! Image: adafruit.com

Motto pyjamas – all the rage in 2016? Image: cafe press

Motto pyjamas – all the rage in 2016? Image: cafe press

The Standard Model for dummies. Image: zazzle.com

The Standard Model for dummies. Image: zazzle.com

Dark matter may be lurking in your abs... Image: MHP

Dark matter may be lurking in your abs… Image: MHP

Do you know a linear collider enthusiast and would you like to surprise him or her with a gift? Or are you a linear collider enthusiast and as such too busy to go gift shopping? Then agonise no more. We’ve done some extensive research and proudly present a list of some of the best linear-collider-related gifts available online…

The linear colliders ILC and CLIC will need vast numbers of components to make up the linear accelerators, the detectors, the klystrons, RF system etc etc. Now we are not suggesting you give your loved one a piece of superconducting cable (even though some might even like it). Instead, we hunted the web for linear-collider terms and what the google shopping function offered us.

Did you know, for example, that klystrons are not only colossal power amplifiers for efficient particle acceleration but also a heavy metal band? According to their website, they are “a Melodic Metal band with influences ranging from Oldschool Thrash and Classic Rock, all the way through Grunge, Punk and Rock n Roll….”. Sound samples are available online. Or have you heard of DJ Klystron, a DJ with a PhD in physics – check out his soundcloud. Could there be a more appropriate name for somebody making beats to make people move than the accelerator’s heartbeat itself? Book him as a surprise for your children’s next electro party.

The real hardware klystron aficionados will enjoy getting their hands on this first edition of “Klystron Tubes” by A.E. Harrison. Both book and jacket are in very good condition, apparently.

The search for “accelerator” yielded results for friends and loved ones with an affinity for making (loud) music. Take this “acceleron” distortion pedal for electric guitars, for example. Apparently it gives “those bity and snarly vintage and compressed tones without the muddiness”. Or do you think they would rather enjoy unwrapping a micro hadron collider, available here? After all it “scientifically smashes two electron waves into oblivion at the speed of light, producing an audio frequency Higgs-Boson particle beam of harmonius (sic) analog physics equilibrium. Well… not really…”

What about niobium, the stuff that the ILC’s cavities will be made of? It’s not only great for boosting electrons and positrons, it also makes decent jewellery, including for noses.

That’s acceleration for the ILC, so what about CLIC? Well, drive beam fans and DIY accelerator craftsmen will almost certainly enjoy a gift of a “toolbox classic, easily and accurately tightening (or loosening) nuts and bolts in a variety of applications” – a drive beam wrench

Electrons are of course an endless source of shopping opportunities on the web, some of them with rather shaky scientific footing. The most appropriate and simultaneously rather cool item on our search for “e‾“ is this human acceleration device… In contrast to electrons, positrons are reserved for climbers, however.

Having covered the main parts of the accelerators we’re now getting closer to the interaction point. And what would create more harmony under the ILD-SiD Christmas trees than this push-pull solenoid (large)?!

Your detector developer is less of an engineer and more of a manager? Then they might prefer this more outdoorsy push-pull item.

We’ve covered the accelerators and the detectors. What about all those pencil-sharpening, blackboard-filling physics people out in the labs and universities? There’s a whole world of physics-related gifts out there, ranging from seriously thoughtful and intellectual to pun-filled nerdish. And there’s art, too. For example, one gift that is sure to keep on giving is this portrait of Peter Higgs – as a Spotted Owl. These owls are also available as Stephen Hawking, William Shakespeare, Charles Darwin and many more…

If you work in physics, you’re probably no stranger to motto t-shirts. But have you tried motto pyjamas?

Or, for the teenagers in your family, this motto tank top that combines pop culture with science might go down well. Mainstream with a twist!

Oh, you teenager isn’t mainstream? How about some dark matter jewellery then?

Your teenager is male? Much so? No problem! Get him a dose of dark matter post-work muscle-growth accelerator

Your target group is even younger than teenage? Well, here’s the Standard Model for dummies – literally.

And if you’re not that into jokes but are just looking for a good read over the holidays we might have manage to find just the thing for you, too. Written by Michael Riordan, professor of the history of physics and technology, Lillian Hoddeson, professor of the history of science and

Adrienne Kolb, former Fermilab archivist, this book tells the story of the rise and fall of the Superconducting Supercollider.

Of course there’s also KEK’s range of merchandise related to particle physics in general and the ILC in particular.

Baumkuchen, spit cake, is not only a German cake speciality but also reminiscent of an accelerating cavity. Ask your local bakery for a sample! (This particular image is (C) www.konditorei-peters.de)

Baumkuchen, spit cake, is not only a German cake speciality but also reminiscent of an accelerating cavity. Ask your local bakery for a sample! (This particular image is (C) www.konditorei-peters.de)

Did we forget or overlook anything? Let us know or send us your own gift suggestions by commenting on this article or sending an email to communicators@linearcollider.org!

Disclaimer

For some of the items highlighted in this list, other suppliers are available. The article should not be understood as an endorsement of any of the items.

The items were found typing search terms into google’s “shopping” function and selected randomly.

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